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Pride: The Silent Killer of Relationships

By Morris Wambua

Pride Pride Pride Pride

Pride, the hidden destroyer of relationships, is a force that silently wedges itself between two people and leaves them estranged.

It's an invisible wall, creating distance where there once was closeness, driving friends and lovers apart. What often starts as a minor misunderstanding can escalate into a standoff fueled by pride.

In relationships, whether romantic or platonic, pride often whispers, "You're right," pushing both parties deeper into isolation and silence. In the end, this silent killer leaves two people locked in a battle neither of them wants to fight but neither knows how to end.

Let’s take a deep dive into how pride quietly dismantles relationships and what can be done to stop this devastating cycle.
The First Signs: When Pride Enters a Relationship
At the beginning of every relationship—whether it’s a friendship or a romantic bond—things are often smooth. There’s understanding, communication flows effortlessly, and both parties take pride in how well they connect.

But with pride’s entry, cracks begin to form, usually in the smallest of ways. It could be an overlooked comment, a forgotten gesture, or a moment of miscommunication.

In most cases, these small issues could easily be resolved with a simple conversation. But pride has a way of amplifying these minor issues, convincing us to avoid confrontation or, worse, to dig our heels in. Why should you be the one to apologize? Surely, they should recognize their mistake. And so, pride builds a tiny barrier, one that slowly grows as more small misunderstandings accumulate.

The Slow Build of Resentment

Anger, resentment, and mistrust

What makes pride so dangerous in relationships is its subtlety. Rarely does it burst into full view right away.

Instead, it operates in the background, turning minor disagreements into festering wounds. Pride convinces you that you’re justified in feeling hurt, in being distant, in waiting for the other person to make the first move.

As these feelings accumulate, they turn into quiet resentment. Each unspoken word, each avoided conversation, adds another layer to the wall that pride is building.

You start to think, “Why should I reach out? They know what they did.” Meanwhile, the other person is likely thinking the same thing. This is the breeding ground for resentment.

The longer the silence lasts, the harder it becomes to bridge the gap. What started as a small issue has now become a quiet standoff. The longer it goes on, the more entrenched each person becomes in their own feelings of righteousness.
The Silent Standoff: Who Will Blink First?
As time passes, pride grows bolder, and the divide between the two of you widens. You carry on with your day-to-day life, pretending that everything is fine.

You go to work, meet other friends, engage in hobbies—but there’s always that underlying tension. The person who once filled a crucial role in your life is now a ghost, and yet you can’t bring yourself to make the first move.

It becomes a silent battle—each waiting for the other to break the ice. It’s not about the original issue anymore.

It’s about the principle, the feeling that if you apologize first, you’re admitting defeat. Pride convinces you that to blink first is to lose, to show weakness. But here’s the truth: The longer the silence lasts, the harder it becomes to break.

The more you wait, the more difficult it feels to reach out. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and eventually, the relationship you once valued feels irreparable.

Pride’s Whisper: Feeding the Fear of Vulnerability

Vulnerability Pride relationships

One of pride’s most insidious tricks is its ability to exploit your fear of vulnerability. In every relationship, there’s a delicate balance between being open and protecting yourself from emotional
harm.

Pride whispers in your ear, telling you that if you reach out, if you apologize first, you’re opening yourself up to rejection or humiliation.

“What if they don’t care anymore?

What if they’re happier without me?”

These are the thoughts that pride loves to feed. It keeps you locked in a cycle of self-protection, even as your heart aches for connection.

You become more focused on guarding yourself than on repairing the relationship. But here’s where pride deceives you: By avoiding vulnerability, you’re not protecting the relationship. You’re allowing it to crumble. Pride convinces you that silence is the safer option, but in reality, it’s the most dangerous path you can take.

The Invisible Distance: When Both Sides Suffer
What pride doesn’t tell you is that both sides are suffering. In most cases, the other person is just as hurt, just as conflicted, and just as unsure of how to fix things. They, too, are waiting for a sign, a
gesture, or a message from you.

They’re likely staring at their phone, wondering why you haven’t reached out, just as you are doing the same.

The tragedy of pride in relationships is that both parties feel the pain of separation, yet neither is willing to make the first move.

The silence between you isn’t born out of apathy or disinterest. It’s born out of pride’s hold on your emotions, convincing you both that reaching out is a sign of weakness.

But here’s the truth: It’s not weak to care. It’s not weak to be the first to speak. The real strength in relationships comes from vulnerability, from being willing to bridge the gap.
A Breaking Point: The Need for Action

breaking point, relationships, pride, vulnerability

Eventually, something has to give. Whether it’s a social event where you both awkwardly avoid each other, or a memory that tugs at your heartstrings, there comes a moment where the distance becomes too much.

You begin to realize that the silence, the avoidance, the waiting—it’s all doing more harm than good. In most cases, you find yourself at a crossroads.You can either continue to hold onto your pride, waiting for the other person to blink, or you can make the decision to break the cycle. This is where most people falter.

Even though you know that the relationship is slipping away, pride holds you back from taking action. The fear of being rejected or appearing vulnerable still looms large.

But here’s the thing: Even if they don’t respond the way you hope, even if they’re not ready to reconcile, you’ve taken the first step toward healing. You’ve broken pride’s hold on you, and that’s a victory in itself.

The Vulnerability of Reaching Out

When you finally decide to take that step—to send the text, make the call, or reach out in some other way—you feel the weight of pride starting to lift. But the tension is palpable.

What if they don’t respond?

What if the message is met with silence?

What if they’re not ready to forgive?

The vulnerability is terrifying, but it’s also necessary.

Relationships cannot survive without moments of vulnerability. When pride holds you back, it’s not protecting the relationship. It’s strangling it. Reaching out, even in the face of uncertainty, is an act of courage. It’s the willingness to risk rejection for the possibility of connection. And more often than not, that courage pays off.

The Power of Forgiveness: Breaking the Cycle of Pride

Forgiveness is the antidote to pride.

It’s the one thing that can break the cycle of silence and restore a broken relationship. When one person is willing to forgive and let go of their pride, it opens the door for reconciliation. But forgiveness isn’t easy. It requires a level of emotional maturity and self-awareness that pride tries to suppress.

When you’re caught in a cycle of pride, forgiving can feel like giving up. But in reality, forgiveness is the ultimate act of strength.

It says, “I value this relationship more than I value being right.” It’s a conscious choice to let go of the past and move forward, regardless of who was at fault. In many cases, once one person extends forgiveness, the other follows suit.

The silent standoff ends, and both sides realize that pride was never worth the pain it caused.

Rebuilding After Pride: Is It Possible?

Once pride has driven a wedge between two people, is it possible to rebuild what was lost? The answer is yes—but it takes effort from both sides.

Rebuilding after pride requires open communication, mutual understanding, and a commitment to vulnerability.

It’s not enough to simply apologize and move on. Both parties need to address the root causes of the pride that led to the breakdown.

What were the unspoken expectations?

What misunderstandings occurred?

Why did both sides feel the need to hold onto their pride?

By addressing these issues head-on, it’s possible to rebuild a stronger, more resilient relationship—one that’s less vulnerable to the destructive effects of pride.

Final Thoughts: Blink Firs

relationship friendship, love, family dating

Pride is a silent killer, capable of turning even the strongest relationships into battlegrounds of silence and resentment. But the good news is that pride only has as much power as you give it.

You can choose to hold onto it, waiting for the other person to blink, or you can choose to break the cycle. In the end, the most important thing in any relationship isn’t being right. It’s the connection you share, the memories you’ve built, and the love or friendship that exists between you.

Don’t let pride rob you of that. If you’re caught in a situation where pride has driven a wedge between you and someone you care about, take a deep breath and blink first. One gesture, one message, one moment of vulnerability is all it takes to bring healing. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Blink first!!!

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